I know it’s been a long time since I’ve posted any updates here. The last few months have hit me with some of the worst depression I’ve ever suffered, at least since going on medication. For a while, I thought I was handling my dad’s death, but it apparently just took time for the loss to really hit me.
Today is the first day in a long time that I’ve felt there might be a light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve managed a little writing, and that felt good.
Right now, I think I have to take things in baby steps. If I force myself to write, it won’t end well. But maybe I can get back to it because it’s one of the things that helps me deal with all my struggles.
I’m sorry for your loss. Grief is a tricky, unpredictable thing. When I lost my 2nd pregnancy, I convinced myself to continue on as normal after a short time of acknowledging the loss. When I felt it inappropriate to outright mourn, grief continued but it manifested in anger because I wouldn’t allow myself space to heal. I guess what I’m saying is grief doesn’t always look the way we expect and we need to make room for it. You aren’t going to be able to do what you have always done, maybe not for a long time- and that’s ok. Be gentle with yourself even as you make progress. As one author to another, thinking of you in this difficult time!